So Close
by hotdamn its cam88
Summary: Everyone knows the story of Sam and Emily, but what about Sam and Leah's story? This is how it began and how it ended, from freshmen year to senior. Very bittersweet and in Leah's point of view. Enjoy!
1. Freshmen

_We're so close to reaching that famous happy ending  
Almost believing this was not pretend  
Now you're beside me and look how far we've come  
So close…so close and still so far_

_**Freshmen Year**_

I was young and I was nervous. The whole concept of high school scared me beyond belief, but of course, I wouldn't let anyone know that.

I remember walking confidently up the steps of La Push High in my favorite ripped jeans and plain white tank top with my backpack callously hanging off my left shoulder.

"Mmm…I love _Fresh Meat_," A boy in a lettermen jacket with the numbers 01 carefully stitched on the side. A _senior_. His eyes didn't go any higher than my still developing chest. I rolled my eyes and that's when I first caught sight of you.

You were with your friends but your attention was clearly on me. I blushed and you looked away.

My classes were uneventful and I had already forgotten all my teacher's names by the time lunch came.

"Hey, sexy, need a hand with that tray?" It was the senior again. I felt a light pinch in my backside and I quickly slapped his hand away.

"Aww c'mon, freshmen, don't be so hostile," he said, grabbing my waist.

You shouted and he let go. Your face was confused and angry and you hadn't the slightest idea what you were doing.

I watched you intently. You were so stupid, defying a senior for a girl you didn't even know, but I guess that's why I fell in love with you—your adorable face scrunched up in anger, untidy black hair sweeping across your gentle features, fists curled into tight balls against your side.

I remember lots of shouting. You were only a developing sophomore and he was a proud senior.

I pulled you away, telling you he wasn't worth it. You calmed down and turned to face me. He punched you and you fell to the ground. Mrs. Donavan saw and dragged him to the office.

I stayed with you at the nurse's office. Your eye was purple and black and I laughed. You were stubborn and refused to put the ice on your eye. Boy ego is something I'll never understand. I let you lay your head on my lap as I gently placed the ice pack over your eye. You looked ridiculous…in the most adorable way possible.

I mumbled a thanks and you went off on a fevered rant about boys being assholes, or something like that. I watched your mouth move rapidly as curse words kept escaping them. As if in a trance, I bent my head down and our lips touched. I bumped your bruised eye, causing you to cringe. My foot became numb as the ice pack landed roughly on it. Our first kiss was quick, cold, and painful. We looked at each other and laughed. It was beautiful thing, watching you laugh.

You walked me home even though you lived 2 miles away from me. You boldly took my hand and I told you I was trouble. Not even the cool, badass kind of trouble, but the messed up kind. You laughed at me and I dropped your hand. You were quick to retrieve it and told me that you wanted to get to know me. I said ok and the following weekend we went out.

I learned things about you as you did me. You were the most interesting person I've ever met. You were an undercover nerd who liked to read spiritual books. You were a champion bowler and collected stamps for fun. You loved archery and knew just about anything and everything that had to do with cars.

We became inseparable. People whispered about our unusual relationship, but we didn't care. We were happy. I _was_ happy.

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a/n: i'd loove to know what you guys think. should i write another chapter? there aren't many leah/sam stories, so feedback is always awesome :)

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	2. Sophomore

_Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing  
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'  
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's  
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses  
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood  
I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could  
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt  
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt_

_[Lily Allen-Littlest Thing_

* * *

_  
**Sophomore**_

"You are _soo_ incredibly stubborn, Leah!"

"And you are such a naïve little pushover, Sam Uley! You _knew_ that girl was trying to get in your pants and you didn't even do anything about it!" I poked at your stomach accusingly, which I think did more damage to my poor finger than you.

You grew over the summer. You were taller and more muscular. Your hair was still a mess, but in that handsome windswept sort of way, and you definitely dressed a lot better. I noticed, as did the whole female population at La Push High.

"C'mon, don't be like this! She just wanted my opinion on the new cheerleading uniform, that's all! It wasn't my fault!"

"It never is your fault! That whole 'mysterious, closet romantic' persona is very appealing to young girls these days, you know! And would it kill you to wear a shirt that didn't accentuate all your muscles?! You _know_ that that is your sexy shirt!"

You looked so cute when you were confused.

"You think this shirt makes me look sexy?"

"UGH!" I'd always walk away and you'd always come after me. You _used to_ anyway.

"Leah, please stop being like this! It's prom tonight and I really don't want to argue!"

"This is how I am, and if you're so worried about your precious _prom_, then why don't you go ask little Miss Double D's over there instead? You guys can continue your fascinating conversation on how her uniform makes her boobs look like balloons!"

It was a wonder how we've stayed together for so long. I was the hot-tempered tomboy, and you were the sensitive pretty boy. In short, we tend to butt heads a lot, but one thing that did keep us together was the fact that we were crazy about each other.

I remember sitting in my room, contemplating if I should get ready for prom, as planned, or sit in my room staring daggers at my dress. The decision was simple—I would give up anything for you, even a whole evening of moping, just to make you happy.

I opened the door just as you were about to knock. (Funny how things work out) I was going to race to your house and apologize, but seeing you in that black and white tux took my breath away and made me feel dizzy.

"Leah! Um…"

I'm not sure if you were aware of how amusing you looked when you struggled to find your words while shuffling your feet with your head bent low. I loved it.

"Yes?"

"imsorry" You mumbled.

"What was that?"

"immsorryyy"

"huh??"

"I'm sorry, goddamnit!"

I smiled. "We can still make it to prom—let me get ready really quick!" I turned to run up the stairs but you pulled me into a tight hug, snuggling your face into my hair.

"Sam, you feeling okay?"

"Mmm…you ran away from me, I barely got to see you today." You were such a whiner, and yet I still found myself melting at your words.

"C'mon, Sam, I need to get ready if you still want to go."

"Just go in that! I don't want to let go." Your grip tightened around me. I laughed. "You'll still be the prettiest girl there anyway."

I bit my bottom lip to control the massive smile threatening to escape.

"You're such a little cheeseball," I said as I pushed you away, but you quickly enveloped me into your arms again.

You smiled that devastatingly stunning smile of yours. "Let's promise to never ever fight again!" You suggested.

I rolled my eyes, knowing that we'd be in another heated argument the next day.

"If I say yes, will you let me get ready?"

You nodded.

"Ok then, yes—SAM WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" You picked me up and started racing for my room.

"I'm going to help you get ready! You take too long and frankly, I am a very impatient man."

You tripped over your eager feet and we both fell to the floor.

"Some man…" I giggled on the floor and poked your muscles. You pouted and refused to get up. I laughed and rested my head on your chest. "Let's stay like this forever."

You instantly softened and wrapped your arms around me, affectionately. "Forever."

Funny how forever is so much shorter these days…


	3. Junior

**Thanks for all the nice reviews:) **

**_musicsetsmefree1-_ I wasn't sure about the "pretty boy" thing either...I think i just had a major brain fart or something when I wrote that...heehee...**

**Enjoy! **

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_She said "If we're gonna make this work  
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts  
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"  
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be  
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"_

_[Lifehouse- Whatever It Takes_

_**Junior**_

"Sam…" I sobbed and my tears began to fall in messy clumps onto the floor. You were alive. After two weeks of not knowing where you were, who you were with, or if you were alive or dead, you finally decided to return.

My breaths came in slow, shallow gasps as you made your way across my room towards me. Your eyes were red and swollen due to a mixture of lack of sleep and crying. Your chest was bare and dirty, but your muscles seemed larger, if possible.

My eyes became angry slits stained with tears. We stood face to face, not saying a word. My silent weeping and your husky breaths were all that could be heard.

"Leah…"

_Slap_!

My hand throbbed with pain, but the pain vibrating down my palm felt good. It began to sting with warmth, and I guiltily loved it. I guess that when you left, the sense of feeling escaped my knowledge. I forgot how to feel.

You took it all in—all the punches and slaps that I threw your way that, undoubtedly, did more damage to me than you. I was furious, yet relieved. Ecstatic, yet enraged. You finally wrapped your strong arms around my flailing body and pulled me close. I cried into your chest and you let me. Despite the hell that you put me through, I still missed you.

I took in the musky scent of you and began tracing your chest with my trembling fingers. Your sad eyes never left me. I kissed your stomach, your shoulders, your neck, cheeks, jaw, and then your mouth. There was too much force in our kiss for either one of us to handle. Your arms around my waist kept pulling me tighter into you; my hands were fiercely tangled into your messy hair. It was a cold night, but it seemed like heat was radiating from every inch of you, keeping me warm. You lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around your waist, still pulling you closer. We began stumbling in the dark, but you soon had me pinned against a wall.

"Leah…I…am…so…sorry…" You said in between kisses. We finally broke apart, lips swollen, foreheads touching, breathing loud. Your hand gently grazed my damp cheek and I instinctively shuddered at the touch. My room was dark, but I could still see the worry and sadness emitting from your deep brown eyes.

"Sam…where'd you go? What happened?" I croaked. Your gaze fell. "Was it…me?"

Your eyes flashed up to mine in a tense frenzy.

"Leah, no. _No_! Don't _ever_ think that! It's just…I've been…"

I could feel my eyes watering again. Your pain was my pain.

"Whatever it is, I will be there for you. No matter what. You just can't leave me like that…"

You kissed my tears, causing me to cry even harder. You began kissing my neck and the pleasure slowly sank in. We both secretly wished that everything would go back to normal, but somewhere deep within ourselves, we knew that we were far from normal.

* * *

"Hey." 

"Hi."

It's been like this for three weeks. You were graduating in another two.

You lightly kissed my forehead as you swung an umbrella over our heads. We headed for your car in silence…again. Our relationship became a routine—the excitement, the admiration, everything was amiss.

"So…you still coming over tonight to study?" I asked, dully. Naturally, I already knew the answer to this, but asking became a custom.

"Oh…um…I don't think I can today…I got some stuff to do and things to catch up on…sorry…"

Blood boiled under my skin. Not because you had "stuff to do" or "things to catch up on" but because I knew that you felt you had to hide things instead of confide in me. Instead of the usual answer ("right."), I decided to be bold and stop pretending that I wasn't upset. I stepped out into the rain and angrily stomped towards the direction of my house. It was only a couple of miles away, a little rain didn't scare me.

"Leah! LEAH! Stop, stop!" You caught up to me and quickly shielded me from the attacking rain. "What are you doing?? Are you crazy?!"

"I don't know, Sam! Am I crazy? Am I crazy for wanting to spend time with my boyfriend or for wondering where he's been running off to every night? Wondering _why_ he's avoiding me and not telling me what these 'things' and 'stuff' are? Cause if that seems a little crazy, then yes, Sam, I am indeed 'crazy'!" I dipped out into the rain again with more determination. It was only a matter of seconds before the umbrella was over my head once again.

"It's complicated ok? You wouldn't be able to understand."

"What have I done in this relationship that would make you think that I wouldn't understand?!" I was on the verge of tears and it seemed that we had attracted an audience. I sucked in my breath and cradled your abnormally warm hand in mine. "I love you more than anything. You have my heart…how can I trust you with it when you don't have any trust in me?"

Your expression was wounded. "Leah, the last thing I want to do is hurt you. It's just…I'm not safe, Leah. I don't even know what I am anymore!"

"You're Sam, I'm Leah. You loved me once upon a time."

"Leah, I love you. That's the only thing I know for sure. I love you, and as messed up as my life may be, you're the only thing that's keeping me grounded—that's reassuring me that I'm not a complete lunatic."

I hadn't realized I'd been crying until you began to tenderly stroke my cheek.

"Then why can't you tell me?"

"Because I wouldn't even begin to know what to tell you. I don't even know what's going on myself. I just…need you to understand."

I shut my eyes and nodded reluctantly as you pulled me into your chest. The argument was over. My emotions were out, and yet I still felt that I hadn't gained any new knowledge. I hugged you tighter, foolishly hoping that whatever it was that was bothering you would just magically disappear and things would return to normal. Oh, how silly of me

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	4. Senior

**a/n: this is the last chapter. I wanna say thanks to all the readers, I hope you enjoyed it. This was just kind of a whim of a story that I wanted to try out. Very bittersweet, I thought. Anywayyy, without further ado, the last chapter! **

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_ Her feelings she hides, her dreams she can't find.  
She's losing her mind, she's fallen behind.  
She can't find her place, she's losing her faith.  
She's fallen from grace, she's all over the place.  
__ She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
That's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside._  
_Avril Lavigne: Nobody's Home_

_**Senior**  
_

My room is a mess. It has been ever since that day in June when my whole world came crashing down. My heart ached as the scar threatened to reopen itself. I guess it was never completely healed anyway.

The image of you and Emily, standing at my doorstep…together...still breaks my heart.

"Leah, we have to tell you something." You said it so professionally, I almost wanted to laugh. I knew it then that you weren't _my_ Sam anymore. You were someone else's. That alone made me want to break down to hysterics.

Emily's honey brown eyes darted back and fourth, worried. She never met my eyes and I knew something was wrong.

You then grabbed her hand. I watched, motionless.

"I love Emily and she loves me. We're together, Leah." You said, carefully.

That did it. I cracked. I started laughing because I didn't know what else to do. The sound was oddly disturbing and I tried very hard to stop, but couldn't. You looked at me with that face—it wasn't your face. The Sam I knew never scowled like that, especially not at me.

"You're joking, right? This has got to be some sick joke," I spat, anger taking over the hysteria.

You shook your head. Emily's face looked pained and regretful. "This isn't a joke. We love each other. I'm sorry." (end memory.)

I quickly shook the memory from my head, not wanting to remember anymore of it. I have to get ready for the traditional Quileute gathering tonight. It's supposed to be fun—friends, family, food and stories. I had no more friends (everyone thought of me as the bitter harpy), my dad is gone, eating became impossible, and the stories were no longer just stories, but rather a nightmare I'll have to live with for the rest of my life.

I remember always getting so excited to go to those things when I was younger…when I had friends, a dad and an appetite. I knew that a main reason why I'd get so excited about them was because you were always there. Today, I wasn't so excited.

Damn, where are my sweats? I kick around the junk littering my floor and come across a broken frame. The glass is cracked, but the picture is still visible—our prom picture. I can feel my body slowly crumbling down. And then I hear my dad's soothing voice echo in the background. It was as if he was there in the room with me.

"_Fall seven times, stand up eight. I know you can do it, Leah."_

The tears were pouring down my face before I could stop them. I pathetically curl myself into a ball on the floor of my room, hugging the old photograph and holding onto the memory with dear life. It was all I had left.

"Leah, honey, are you ready for the ceremony?" My mom's soft voice is far. I have about a good 3 minutes before she comes into my room to check up on me. I can't take another one of her "special talks." They never worked and pretending they did became harder.

I sniff and wipe the snot from my nose with the back of my hand. Hygiene meant little to me now a days.

"Leah?"

2 minutes. Where was that damn jacket? Ah, found it. I quickly thrust my arms through the sleeves of my black jacket and shove open the window. The cool wind instantly greets me as I recklessly snake my way onto the ground, producing a couple of new bruises.

I stuff my hands into my pockets and walk towards the cliff. Sitting on the cliff, I can be hidden, but still see everything. There's Seth and his friends, always the happy-go-lucky dorks. Quil and Embry are play wrestling on the ground. I have a theory that they're secretly attached at the hip. Jared is taking off his jacket and gently wrapping it around Kim as she smiles adoringly up at him. Paul helps Quil Attera Senior with the firewood, and Jake inches closer to that vampire girl, Bella. I see Billy rub my mom's hand soothingly as she mouths my name. She then closes her exhausted eyes as a single tear drops. I really shouldn't be so selfish.

My eyes reluctantly make their way to you and Emily. I can already feel the tears threatening to spill as I watch you caress her broken face. You then kiss her on the lips with the utmost gentleness that I can feel the jealousy and pain surge through me like an electric shock.

I quickly stumble to my feet and run; run like there's nothing holding me back, as if going forward was the only way to erase the agony and torture. I finally collapse somewhere in the forest and scream. Scream so loud and hard that I'm sure I've scared off a good amount of innocent forest creatures.

Tears blur my vision and I'm pretty sure I've won the award for biggest crybaby, but I don't care. Nothing matters anymore. You weren't there anymore to hold me when I cried, find me when I was lost, kiss me to make me feel better. And yet, there you were. Standing in front of me with guilty eyes. Was I dreaming?

"Leah." You say, voice cracking. The tears didn't stop coming. Your hand reaches for mine but I instinctively jump back.

"Don't touch me!" I warn.

"Leah, I'm so sorry," You say, inching closer to me while I back away. "I wish there was something I could do to make it better."

I laugh bitterly. "You_ wish_?" I repeat. "You know what I wish, Sam? I wish my dad was still here. I wish that my mom didn't have to look at me everyday with that same agonized look, watching her daughter rot away. I wish I was never a part of this _stupid_ wolf pack. I wish people would stop treating me like a fragile china doll and let me cry in peace. But most importantly, Sam, I wish you had kept all the promises you made me in the last 3 years."

Your face shifts in pain and I can't help but feel smug about it.

"Leah, the last thing I ever wanted to do was cause you pain…"

"Pain?" I say, becoming hysterical again. "I can live with pain. This is pain." I punch the nearest tree with all my strength and watch the blood seep from my knuckles down to my arm. I don't even flinch, but I notice your eyes bulge in exasperation.

"Are you crazy?! Let me see your hand!" You make a grab for the bloody mess but I quickly shove it out of reach.

"Pain I can deal with, Sam. But I'm like a fucking open wound. Things keep going into it, making it worse and there's nothing strong enough to close it up. The pain I got used to, I've surrendered to it. I'm numb. But regardless of anything you say or "wish" to make the wound go away, it'll always be there, haunting me forever."

I hit a weak spot. You begin shaking under your tough exterior. The serenity you've worked so hard on accomplishing was slowly unmasking itself. And for a brief moment, I feel guilty. You bite down on your lower lip hard as your eyes swell up with moisture, but it doesn't fall. You're a lot stronger than I'd ever give you credit for. You suck in your breath and let out a frustrated grunt as you punch the same tree I attacked.

The cackling sound was loud, but I remain stationary, watching your every move with guilty satisfaction. You cradle your wounded hand. I boldly take a step towards you and touch your bloody hand with mine.

"This pain will be the last thing we'll ever share together," I say weakly. I then quickly turn on my heals and head down to the ceremony, letting the lasts of my tears escape.

"I'm sorry," you whisper and I barely catch it; the wheezing and crying drowned out a lot of the excess noise in the background.

"I know." I say just as softly, I'm not sure you even hear it. As soon as I was out of earshot, the shaking becomes unbearable. My hands constantly clench and unclench as I shiver under the unfamiliar overload. I phase for the second time of my life, but this time I'm not scared. I was expecting it. I rip into my new skin and quickly become acquainted with it. This was the new me, and I have to deal with it. My mind is clear.

_I'm sorry Jake, Embry, Quil, Paul and Jared for being a such a bitter old hag. _

_I'm sorry Seth and Mom for being such a pain. I'll try to heal faster for you guys. _

_I miss you, Dad...you're always in my memory. _

_Sam...be good to Emily. _


End file.
